Author: Saavant

Code: K/S, filk

Rating: PG

Summary:Spock's thoughts during Amok Time.

Author's Note: I didn't think I'd ever do K/S, but a song called "Iris" that plays on the radio practically every day at my workplace was so absolutely expressive of Spock's feelings for his captain in 2267 that I couldn't resist adding a few lines to each verse to clarify the meaning. (The song is sung by the "Goo Goo Dolls"-- admittedly not a very Vulcanish name for a band--but I *did* hear it on a station called "104.1, The Point"! )

Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom (arrgh, I'm so sick of these mergers, especially after Deja/Google and Yahoo/Egroups!) owns Kirk and Spock and the term "plak tau" / "plaktow" (which is the only copyrighted Trek phrase I actually use in the song). I do not own them and am not profiting financially from writing about them. Neither do I own the tune and half of the words, but the other half are ALL MINE!!!

Archive: anyplace, but please let me know where

Feedback: hammersc@augsburg.edu

I DON'T WANT THE WORLD TO SEE ME

i am driven to join her forever
as i'm drawn to her side by plak tau
*but i'd give up forever to touch you
'cause i know that you feel me somehow*

for your link to my soul is far stronger
than hers through that childhood vow
*you're the closest to heaven i'll ever be
and i don't want to go home right now*

please lock me away from my duty
prevent me from taking her hand
*i don't want the world to see me
i don't think that they'd understand*

when logic is shattered to pieces
when passion has burst through the dam
*when everything's made to be broken
i just want you to know who i am*

i'm someone whose heart doesn't answer
the call of the blood of his wife
*and all i can taste is this moment
and all i can breathe is your life*

but the fever is forcing me homeward
it won't let me crawl off and die
*and sooner or later it's over
i just don't want to miss you tonight*

and i ache from the thought that i have to
as i'm pulled to the ancestral sands
*and i don't want the world to see me
i don't think that they'd understand*

oh why can't i tell you i want you
and leave her to some other man
*when everything's made to be broken
i just want you to know who i am*

when you hide that you can't hide emotion
but you're giving away the disguise
*you can't fight the tears that aren't coming
or the moment of truth in your lies*

as I wound you, you give futile payment
for the knowledge that you can survive
*when everything feels like the movies
and you bleed just to know you're alive*

no human could fathom this madness
that has left you destroyed by my hand
*i don't want the world to see me
i don't think that they'd understand*

but i've found you alive and must tell you
before i can lose you again
*when everything's made to be broken
i just want you to know who i am*

END