Emptiness fills me...
an acceptance that is
not acceptance.
It has been days...weeks...
yet I still feel the loss...
an illogical grief
that I control, but cannot
conceal:
Jim is dead.
Logic tells me that I am
not to blame,
but the emotion that I
still try to deny
tells me I could have
saved him.
Captain...Jim...why did
you not listen to me?
There was no logic in
your beaming down...
the planet was potentially
dangerous...
A Starship Captain is
non-expendable...
yet they tell me it was
not my fault,
that it was no one's fault.
But I heard his mind cry
out to me for help,
and I arrived too late...
too late to do anything
but watch him die.
He trusted me.
I failed him.
Now I will pay the price
for the rest of my life.
They think his death no
longer affects me,
that I have accepted it.
Perhaps someday
I will let them know the
truth...
but not now.
I know McCoy will always
try
in his illogical way
to be my friend...
Christine will continue
to feel love for me...
but it will never be the
same.
I can have only one t'hy'la,
and that was Jim.
How can I feel that deeply
for anyone else again?
I cannot. I am a
Vulcan.
I am in control of my
emotions.
Why, then, can I not let
go?
Gamin Davis/1984
Sarek, angst [G]
******
I've always tried to do
and be
whatever you required
of me--
faced scornful schoolmates
every day
and tried to heed the
Vulcan way,
locked my emotions deep
inside
and hoped that it would
bring you pride.
I took to heart your every
word,
though seldom any praise
I heard--
no solace for the pain
I hid.
And still you guided all
I did.
I wanted so to be like
you--
the perfect Vulcan through
and through--
that I was pleased you
planned my life,
picked my career and chose
my wife.
To Vulcan custom I'd be
true,
and be a mirror-image
you.
But time has passed and
I can see
I am not you, nor are
you me;
I cannot be the son you
sought--
full-blooded Vulcan I
am not.
My Human half, always
submerged,
still gives me needs I
cannot purge--
acceptance, friendship,
inner peace.
Nowhere on Vulcan found
I these.
A child no longer, I am
grown;
the choice I make must
be my own--
a life on Vulcan, so alone,
or chance of life where
friendship's shown.
I made the only choice
I could,
and still I wish you understood.
I have not fled the Vulcan
way,
but longer here I could
not stay.
No more on Vulcan could
I live--
I needed more than it
could give.
You disowned me for what
I did,
rejected me and from me
hid.
The choice, Sarek, was
mine to make--
accept it, please, for
Mother's sake.
[End]
Elegy For Edith by Gamin Davis
TOS K/Edith, death, angst
[G]
(Tune: "Daisy, Daisy")
Edith, Edith,
I'll say goodbye to you.
Can't believe it--
what will I ever do?
We'll never be together...
I lost you to Forever...
But in my heart,
we'll never part.
Edith, I still love you.
Memories of Edith by Gamin Davis
K/Edith, death, angst
[G]
(Tune: "Sidewalks of New
York")
A little bitty filk...recently published in my latest zine.
East side, west side,
walking through the town...
hand in hand with Edith,
starstruck after the sun-down...
Talk of stars and planets,
a future she'd never see...
that was our shining moment,
Edith Keeler's time with
me.
Starship Enterprise by Gamin Davis
K&S&Mc [G]
(Tune: "Yellow Submarine"
by the Beatles)
Same publishing credits
on this one as on the Edith filks.
Out in space,
across the stars,
was a man who sailed the
skies--
and his name was Captain
Kirk,
of the Starship Enterprise.
Chorus:
They all lived on the Starship
Enterprise,
the Starship Enterprise,
Starship Enterprise.
They all lived on the
Starship Enterprise,
the Starship Enterprise,
Starship Enterprise.
And his friends were all
aboard;
two were special in his
eyes.
With those two, he shared
his life
on the Starship Enterprise.
(Repeat chorus.)
Each success and every
loss
borne together forged
their ties:
Spock to Kirk, Kirk to
McCoy--
and the Starship Enterprise.
(Repeat chorus.)
And those three took me
along
on each mission they'd
devise;
in my heart, they still
Trek on--
on forever, Enterprise!
(Repeat chorus ad nauseum)
Both Halves Now by Gamin Davis
S, K&S, Mc,Ch [G]
Spock looks back on his
life
(as published in OPERATION: T'HY'LA, c. 1998)
(Tune: "Both Sides Now",
by various artists,
including L. Nimoy)
[a cop-out--I couldn't
remember the original
artist for the life of me.]
A feeling I could never
know--
no Vulcan to me dared
to show
this thing I shunned but
needed so;
that was friendship to
me.
Since then, I've felt
the warmth within,
the understanding of a
friend.
I need not be alone again--
now friendship's come
to me.
I've viewed friendship
with both halves now,
both Vulcan, Human--still
somehow,
it's friendship's traumas
I recall.
I don't know how to be
a friend...at...all.
A cold acceptance, mind-to-mind,
arranged with one of Vulcan
kind--
no shared affection could
I find.
That's all love meant
to me.
When I reach out now,
Christine's there,
with gentleness I've learned
to bear.
And if I let her, she
will care--
at last, a love for me.
I've looked at love with
both halves now,
both Vulcan, Human--still
somehow,
it's just love's traumas
I recall.
I don't know how to cope
with love...at...all.
For years, an empty Vulcan
shell
with lonely, private wars
unquelled,
I feared death less than
living Hell.
That's all life was for
me.
But now I know I'm past
the worst,
with home and friends
through times adverse--
my Captain, Doctor, former
Nurse.
They fill my life for
me.
I've looked at life with
both halves now,
both Vulcan, Human--still
somehow,
it's all life's traumas
I recall.
I really don't understand
life...at...all.
Half-Breed: Spock's Song by
Gamin Davis
S, K&S, Mc,
Ch, angst [G]
Spock reminisces
again, finding more painful memories.
(tune: "Half-Breed" by
Cher)
published in OPERATION:
T'HY'LA, c. 1998, and written
with an inspirational
kick-in-the-pants by J.M. Lane
******
My father bonded with a
Human girl;
the Vulcans said that
I was not of their world.
I showed emotion no true
Vulcan would show,
but learned few Earth
customs a Human would know.
"Half-breed!" I heard
it all the time.
"Half-breed!" My
Human blood's a crime.
"Half-breed! You're
Human, Spock," they warned.
Both worlds were against
me from the day I was born.
I learned to look up to
the stars above,
and hope and dream of
finding friendship and love.
Then one day, I left Vulcan
in disgrace--
but among Humans, I was
still out of place.
"Half-breed! Vulcan
freak!" they jeered.
"Half-breed! Slant-browed
and devil-eared!"
"Half-breed!" So
I learned of Human scorn.
Both worlds were against
me from the day I was born.
I have a place now and
the stars are my home;
with Jim Kirk's friendship,
I'm no longer alone.
There is McCoy, and Christine
loves me, too--
they all accept me as
I am now, it's true.
"Half-breed!" Though
still I feel the pain...
"Half-breed!" Jim's
friendship keeps me sane.
"Half-breed!" I
ignore as best I can,
now that I've learned
to accept myself as I am.
(Repeat verse 2, 4, and/or 6 ad nauseum.)
Starship in the Sky With Dilithium byGamin
Davis
K&S&Mc [G]
(Tune: "Lucy in the Sky
With Diamonds" by the Beatles)
******
Picture yourself on the
Bridge of a Starship,
wearing a uniform, Starfleet
design.
Beside the command chair,
Spock talks with the Captain;
McCoy lurks with mischief
in mind.
Myriad stars twinkle yellow
and blue,
dancing through space
before you.
They call to you and the
rest of the crew,
and you're off.
Chorus:
Starship in the sky with
dilithium!
Starship in the sky with
dilithium!
Starship in the sky with
dilithium!
Ahhh...ahhh...
Picture yourself down with
Kirk on a planet;
Spock and McCoy have come
with you as well.
Many Security men have
been dying;
Kirk watched as another
one fell.
Mystery laser-fire, yellow
and pink,
grazes an officer's hair;
Kirk quickly orders a
hasty retreat,
and they're off.
(Repeat chorus.)
Picture yourself on shore
leave at a starbase;
Kirk is still trying to
get Spock to stay.
McCoy is plotting illogical
actions,
recreation to drive Spock
away.
Kirk chides him sternly,
begs Spock to remain,
then warns McCoy to behave;
McCoy then protests Spock's
presence to Kirk,
but they're off.
(Repeat chorus ad nauseum.)
Days of Classic Trek by Gamin Davis
TOS (with mention of others)
K&S&Mc [G]
(Tune: "Those Were The
Days" by Mary Hopkin)
WARNING: if you don't like TOS and don't
have a sense of humor about
it vs. the other shows, don't even *try*
to read this. It'll just make you
mad. I did it originally at the
request of someone who wanted me to put my
views on the subject onto a filk, then
unfortunately his plans or a filk
zine fell through, so here this thing
is, homeless and, until now, unseen.
******
Thirty years ago was born
the legend--
before DEEP SPACE NINE
or TNG.
VOYAGER would not have
then been mentioned;
Janeway wouldn't get past
NBC.
Those days of Classic TREK
were not a total wreck;
despite some flaws,
it's stood the test of
time.
Needed no wild effects
to hold the fans' respect--
the plots and characters
did that just fine.
Ten years more brought
animated STAR TREK,
cheaply made, as cartoons
tend to be.
Though fans say most episodes
are all drek,
the voices make it Classic
TREK for me.
Those days of Cartoon TREK--
the show gets no respect,
despite good art,
and voices by the cast.
The plots weren't always
good,
but they did what they
could--
and fans were glad to
have TREK back at last.
These days, my TV abounds
with TREK shows:
VOYAGER, DEEP SPACE NINE
and TNG.
Which way they are going,
who the heck knows?
Kirk, Spock and McCoy
are fine with me.
Those days of Classic TREK,
looked at in retrospect,
still seem the best of
all the TREKS to me.
If it had never been,
you know what that portends:
none of the newer TREKS
could ever be!
The Vulcan Sleeps Tonight by
Gamin Davis
K&S&Mc [G]
(tune: "The Lion Sleeps
Tonight" by The
Tokens)
published in
my zine novel OPERATION:
T'HY'LA in 1999
******
Chorus:
Aweemawep-aweemawep-aweemawep-aweemawep,
aweemawep-aweemawep-aweemawep-aweemawep...
On the starship,
the mighty starship,
the Vulcan sleeps tonight.
On the starship,
the mighty starship,
the Vulcan sleeps tonight.
(Repeat chorus.)
On the starship,
the mighty starship,
the Captain dreams tonight.
On the starship,
the mighty starship,
the Captain dreams tonight.
(Repeat chorus.)
On the starship,
the mighty starship,
the Doctor snores tonight.
On the starship,
the mighty starship,
the Doctor snores tonight.
(Repeat chorus, add embellishments according to preference.)
Hush, t'hy'la,
don't fear, t'hy'la,
the Vulcan sleeps tonight.
Hush, t'hy'la,
don't fear, t'hy'la,
the Vulcan sleeps tonight.
(Repeat chorus and embellishments ad nauseum.)
******
(Note: I wish you could see the illo for this filk...it's a hoot, even
if I do say so myself.)
Spock's Kirk's-Missing-From-the-Ship-Again Blues: Where Is Jim?
K&S, angst [G]
(tune: "Where Is Love?"
from the musical OLIVER!)
******
Where...is Jim?
What would I do without
him?
If he's not alive,
can I survive
more than an interim?
Where...is he?
Give my mind the power
to see.
I won't grant him lost;
despite the cost,
I'll have him back with
me.
I do not want his command;
that belongs to just one
man.
I would rather stand
with Human pride
in his sight--
by his side...
Where...where...is Jim?
Gamin Davis/1999